How to make friends as an adult
So, all your friends from school have moved further afield, either literally (let’s face it, to Australia or London), or metaphorically (maybe they have kids and you don’t, or maybe their job is so different from yours that you no longer have things in common).
Don’t fret! Even as an adult you can still make new friends. It may not be as easy as going to sit with someone at lunchtime, but believe me, it’s possible.
Here are some tips on finding your new crew.
1) Take a Night Class
Right, it was so much easier in school! When you are in the same class you can bond over how stupid this test is or how that teacher always picks on you. Except this time, instead of sitting through a class you probably didn’t want to take in the first place, you can take something you have always wanted to. Do you wonder what it would be like to play guitar, paint, or cook the best gosh-damned dinner ever? Wonder no more.
Plus, it is much easier to talk with someone over things that you both enjoy. Chances are, you will be quite similar and before you know it you’ll be meeting up for coffee with your new crew every Wednesday.
2) Hang Out With Your Colleagues
It may seem like you work with a bunch of boring people, but you never really know until you've spent time with them outside of work. So you’re invited to after-work drinks? Go! In fact, if you haven’t had much of a chance to mingle with your colleagues, organise one yourself. You never know who you might end up getting along with. It may even be that girl who sits across from you in the office who you thought was frowning at you all the time (but really, she just has an angry resting face).
3) Join Groups Online
Once again, if you find things that you are interested in, the people that come along with it are likely to be similar to you. Join a Facebook group for Creative Writers in Auckland or for Yogalates. Just Google your interests and you'll find something!
It doesn’t have to get weird when you chat people; half the time discussions are communal so everyone can get into it. Plus, there may be events that would interest you where your BFF is waiting.
4) Attend Events
You saw that some distant Facebook friend is going to a ‘Free Drawing Club’ in Albert Park. Don’t just sit behind your computer screen and think, 'hmm, that sounds cool'; get off your booty and get out there! The more you mingle, the more you’ll find (yes, this works not just for finding a lover, but a friend too).
Most especially, if people invite you to things, don’t turn them down without a very good (I mean seriously good!) reason. So what if you’re feeling really tired after having three meetings back-to-back at work today? Go for an hour, and if it really sucks, go home. But most of the time, once you actually get there you’ll be fine.
5) Meet your Friends’ Friends
If your friend tells you she’s meeting up with her crew tonight, why not ask if you can go along? Get over the fear of going into a new group and just try it out. Your friend probably didn’t invite you just because he or she didn’t think of it!
Or, if you’re having a fabulous party, tell your friends they can bring along some of their mates too. If you know the same people you are likely to have things in common anyway.