Auckland; the winter no-one takes seriously

Dark, windy, and cold as f*ck are a few terms I’d use to describe Auckland winters – but the trial we face in our climate classified by Wikipedia as “subtropical with warm humid summers and mild damp winters” is that no one takes us seriously. If I had a dime for every time I heard someone from down under-down under (South Island) scoff at the mere mentioning of Auckland’s winter climate – I wouldn’t have to be sitting here writing this article.

As we head unassumingly through the month of June, we remain in a cloud of positivity as we look forward to months of having no cricket plaguing our TV’s. But, my dear friends, the real tribulations have only just begun. Hass avocados now cost more than our first homes – and we are starting to face the one question no one knows the answer to “is it cold or hot that clears the windscreen?” 

There is no denying that we can’t compete with those hearty Southerner’s on temperature figures, but the difference is - and remains - that they have cities built for screaming southerlies. We on the other hand, do not. All those things that we enjoy doing in our humble city are suddenly redundant. Perhaps a walk along the waterfront, a spot of golf, or a trip to a nearby beach? In 9 degrees – yeah, I’ll pass thanks. Then there’s the thought we all have each winter – maybe I’ll try skiing, followed by the harsh reality; sh*t skiing is expensive, I’ll just go out for brunch again.

Our hobbies that we spent hours nurturing during the warmer months fall by the wayside, only to fill this void with the one and only Auckland winter hobby – red wine and cheese boards. The mild damp winters can be a real struggle for us Jaffa’s – if you don’t die from forced al fresco dining, you might out of sheer boredom – and in the words of a wannabe millennial “Hundo P agree”.