Not-very scary shark movies to watch this Halloween

I don’t think I would be overstepping any boundaries by saying that there need to be more blockbusters including, or alluding to sharks. No doubt about it, sharks belong on the big screen, not relegated to zero-budget films about tornados, or in the DVD bargain bin. 

No, sharks should have their own Oscar categories, and because that is yet to happen; I’ve picked the six best shark movies to watch this Halloween if you're too chicken for the heavy stuff, and no, I will not be taking any feedback on these selections: 

JAWS

Not to be mistaken with the fourth Jaws movie, which was not only remembered for being one of the worst shark movies ever made, but potentially one of the worst movies ever made, period. 

Despite the central conceit of this movie being decidedly ridiculous, JAWS is iconic. 

Sharktopus 

The shark-octopus hybrid is confusing for a number of obvious biological reasons, but the most perplexing is, what advantage would a seemingly normal shark with tentacles actually have? Regardless, great watch. 

Sharknado

Despite what might have appeared to be an offhandedly negative comment about Sharkando in the intro, I’m actually a closet Sharknado fan. If such a thing as the Sharknado Fan Club existed, I may be the sole member, and I’m ok with that. 

Ghost Shark 

This has a spot in the article on the sheer premise of it’s originality. After being tortured by a fisherman, this shark drifts into a magic cave which in turn resurrects its vengeful spirit. The most terrifying part is it can appear anywhere, even on a slip and slide! 

The Shallows

Although the idea of Blake Lively being confined to a rock for 86 minutes doesn’t sound like the most exciting thing to happen to you, it might be. This movie is tense, and there is also a very decent subplot where she names a seagull Steven. 

Open Water

Forget the sequel, which unbelievably did not even feature a single shark. But the OG is the real deal and manages to fill a whole movie’s screentime based on the very terrifying proposition of being in the middle of the ocean with sharks underneath you.