Selena Gomez celebrates 25 in her PJ’s
Duffman can't breathe! OH NO! Books are useless! I only ever read one book, "To Kill A Mockingbird," and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the color of his skin…but what good does *that* do me?
I'll be back. You can't keep the Democrats out of the White House forever, and when they get in, I'm back on the streets, with all my criminal buddies. Remember the time he ate my goldfish? And you lied and said I never had goldfish. Then why did I have the bowl, Bart? *Why did I have the bowl?*
Save me, Jeebus. Slow down, Bart! My legs don't know how to be as long as yours. Marge, you being a cop makes you the man! Which makes me the woman — and I have no interest in that, besides occasionally wearing the underwear, which as we discussed, is strictly a comfort thing.
Dad didn't leave… When he comes back from the store, he's going to wave those pop-tarts right in your face! Kids, kids. I'm not going to die. That only happens to bad people. Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.
I hope this has taught you kids a lesson: kids never learn. Human contact: the final frontier. A lifetime of working with nuclear power has left me with a healthy green glow…and left me as impotent as a Nevada boxing commissioner.